I'm so mixed in emotions about today. We're heading to Zaparozhzhia today to catch the train to Kiev so that I can leave Ukraine, possibly forever. While I am wildly excited to get to see my friends and family again (and I'm even a little excited to go back to school soon), I am also incredibly sad about all of the friends that I am leaving behind here. No matter what I do, I know that I will always remember this summer, and that it has changed me, hopefully for the better.
Well, this week has been pretty quiet. Each day we have done some of the work project (we finished two sides of the gate, that might be all that they end up doing because the other sides don't really matter), and do the kid's club. By the end of the week they had over 50 kids coming to the kid's club, and the last day 24 of them asked to accept Jesus as their savior. I'm not sure whether they meant it, but we made it clear that they should only do it if they wanted to. Doing kids' club with the Irish team has taught me a few things. One is that a person learns the best in their native tongue. It has sort of bothered me that they have had the memory verse being spoken in English this week. They had it written in Russian, but were asking the kids to memorize it in English. Not that they kids couldn't understand it (although some might not), but learning it in Russian I think would have been better for them. However, the kids did well on the memory verse. The last day of kids' club (yesterday), we did a drama of the passion story after Jesus had risen. I played one of the disciples and had fun. I didn't think it went too well, we had a couple of extra scenes thrown at us that we didn't know what to do, but it must have because right after this and a testimony was when the kids prayed to accept Jesus. Sarah from the team, who is 13, gave her testimony and it was lovely. The kids really like the team, and that is always good.
Since I didn't go to the orphanage on Tuesday (only one of the VIAs can go at a time to get more team members in) I went on Thursday. It was a lot of fun as usual, and I told the Bible story (which I told last week as well) about the Passover feast and Jesus washing his disciples feet. It was a little harder for the kids to sit still here, since most of them are under 7 years old, but several listened. I had fun playing with all of my kids that I love, Catya and Dennis, Daniel and Masha. It was so hard for me to leave, especially since some of the team members were crying too. I've got to know these kids over the past two months, and I care deeply about them. It breaks my heart to know they might not get to go home, and a lot of the older kids won't ever get a home. There were 8 new kids this week, and I was just so sad that that had to happen to them (especially since two of them were 12 and 13). I love them so much, and will miss them greatly. I just hope they don't see me leaving as me abandoning them. That is my greatest fear in all of this, I don't want to cause them any more pain. I gave all of them big hugs when I left, and I know I'll be praying for them.
I only worked in the youth center twice this week (it's only been open two days this week), and it was fun as usual. I played skip-bo, ping-pong, and many other games. Dennis told me on Tuesday that I play ping-pong "very badly", which I thought was funny. He always tries his hardest to find anyone but me to play with, not because he doesn't like me, but because he thinks he's too good for me and wants a challenge. The only thing is, the other person he can play is Matthew who is a lot better than he is (he beat him 6 times one day). Dennis is limited in his playing because of a physical condition that leaves his movements rather jerky. I have got to know a lot of the kids at the center very well, and ever since kids' club a lot of the local kids have been coming in every time it is open (we had over 20 in there one day!). Lots of kids who were at the VBS at the beginning of the summer have been coming, like Vlad, Sasha, Misha, Igor, and several others. There is also one older kid that I have been getting to know. His name is Zhenia, and he is 17. I got to know him when he would hang around the kids' club on his bike because his friends were going to the club. He wouldn't join in, but he would listen. Ivan from the team tried to talk to him one day, and I did a bit of translating for him as we talked about football (think soccer, not the American version). He eventually started coming to the club, but being older than most of the kids and being a teenage boy, he tended to cause disruptions and be a little rude. But he eventually started coming to the youth center, where Matthew, Bill, and I could talk to him and just hang out with him. Matthew and I have both talked to him (he knows a little English, and Dennis is his friend so he translates occasionally), and just loved on him trying to get to know him. I played ping-pong with him yesterday (and he was very nice and didn't play as well as I know he can, although that might be an insult I don't know). But when he left yesterday and knew that Matthew and I were leaving, he gave us both a big hug and held tightly. I hadn't realized that I had made any impact on him, but he seemed to genuinely care that we were leaving, and looked upset. Please pray for him, as he is one of the kids who prayed to accept Jesus, along with Dennis. He also gave both of us a big hug, and I'm going to really miss him and all of his trash talk, and asking me when I'm going to get a girl. Please pray for him as well as he gets to know Jesus (I think his mom is a Christian), as well as for his condition (and his mom, who is a diabetic). Actually, if you pray, just pray for all of the kids who accepted Jesus, and for those who didn't that a seed was planted and they might some day.
I may not be totally changed by this summer, but I know that I am different. I really respect the Ukrainians like I said before, and I will really miss getting to know them and their randomness. That sounds a little ethnocentric, but I think it's ok for this. I know that I will always think more globally now, because I have seen how other people live. The Ukrainians make so much less money, and don't have as many opportunities, but they have so much more fun than we do. I also know I will have more respect for different people, you just have to; after all God made them too. I'm growing spiritually like I haven't in a long while, and while I don't have the faith I should have, I'm not letting it keep me down. I know I want to be in missions in some respect, but I'll keep listening to hear what my calling is. Please pray for that and for patience for me. As far as communication goes, I've been able to learn a bit of Russian, and I know that I am now a master of pantomime (haha). But I have seriously gained some patience in waiting to understand what someone wants, which is essential to foreign missions. Being with the Irish has also taught me how American some of my views are. America isn't perfect (which I knew), but the whole world doesn't agree with us, including brothers and sisters in Christ. I have learned that that is the strongest bond, not nationality. I have really enjoyed talking to and spending time with the Irish team, and I will miss them (maybe I'll just show up on their doorstep one day, I could go for a visit to Ireland). I've talked about my call with them, and they have helped me to just seek the Lord in it. I know I love youth work now, and definitely not children's ministry. Youth are just awkward, but it's because they're getting to know who they are. They want to fit in, and it is our job as ministers of Christ to let them know that Jesus loves them like they are, and they fit perfectly with him.
I am going to miss so many people here. Igor, Vika, Bill, Oksana, all the kids at the orphanage, the kids from the youth center, the kids from camp, the other missionaries here (Bill, Betsy, Ernie, and Anna). Bill and Betsy have been like parents to me here, and have taken such good care of Matthew and me, I am so grateful I can't even say it adequately. Bill and Oksana have been like mentors to me, and I will miss just talking to them and getting to know them. I know they want me to come to Ukraine as a missionary, but I have to figure that out on my own. I will especially miss Igor and Vika, who have been like a brother and sister to me here, and whom I love very much. Igor especially (although I love Vika very much too) has been a true friend, and always talks to me and has gotten to know me. I just pray that God would bless all of these people beyond their dreams, and for their ministries. I just don't know how to express what they have all meant to me, so let it suffice to say that I love them all very much. We are leaving today at 3:30 to head for the train, and I will leave on a plane tomorrow at around 11. I'll get home 11 pm at home, and I can't wait to see all of you. This is probably the last blog I will put on here, with possibly the exception of my reflection paper I have to write. I might continue to use it just as a blog, but I doubt it, we'll see. But thank you so much for keeping up with my adventures here in Ukraine. I thank you so much for your prayers and thoughts, and just know I love you all with all of my heart. Thank you.
David
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
So, about the last few days...
These past few days here in Ukraine have been wonderful for me. Of course I am saying this as I am sitting in an air conditioned room, not working like I probably should be (although we only work in the mornings now because of the work team, we wouldn't usually).
Sunday was a really long day, but a really good day. We started off with a church service in Bethel Church (that's the church here in Berdyansk at the center). Like I've mentioned before, the music usually takes an hour or so to get through, and it is hard for me because I love to sing. I just can't sing in Russian yet, I can't really read fast enough (although I'm getting there) and I can't understand what I'm reading anyway. I really miss singing in church (I can't wait for next Sunday!), so you can imagine that I usually have a hard time on Sundays here. Anyways, they played all of my favorite songs that I've heard here in Ukraine during the service. It's hard to describe Ukrainian worship music, because it's kind of a conglomeration of many different styles of music. Usually they start off with a back beat from a keyboard, and then just add words to it. They can be tranlated worship songs from the states, or new ones written by the Ukrainians themselves. My favorites are the ones that are obviously Ukrainian. Russian/Ukrainian music has a rather sad note to it, and it always has a downbeat or a minor key. But the people are just so exuberant singing them that I love them. Then Garreth (the Irish pastor) preached on being "inclusive" people and not "exclusive". I agreed with a lot of what he said, but it's hard to pay attention when someone has to be translated (I could understand him, but he had to stop so Sergey, who is the pastor of Bethel church, could translate for the congregation). Then Maxim, a very godly man who goes to the church, was initiated as the church's first deacon. He and his wife were so happy, and it was wonderful to see the church love on him, and I know that he'll do a great job at it.
We next went to Primorsk after a quick lunch. We had a similar service here (although without music as they had already done it). The Irish team performed a song, I think called the "Lion of Judah", but it involves a very Irish drum beat and I really liked the song. Garreth preached again (I kinda wavered in my attention this time, half listening to a sermon on my ipod before turning it off because I felt guilty), and it was really hot in that service. The Ukrainians don't like drafts, so they keep windows closed usually, and with around 50 people in a room that was about 20 by 30 feet, it was very hot, especially because it was at least 95 degrees outside. After the service, however, the pastor of the Primorsk church, Arkodi, was ordained as a minister and made the "official" pastor of that church. I got to take a lot of pictures, and it was neat to see the four other pastors (Sergey, Garreth, Bill Brower, and Ernie) initiate a fellow pastor into their midsts. Arkodi was so happy, and his congregation truly love him because he cares so much for them and knows them so well. He's a really great pastor, and ordination will only enhance that (hopefully). It made me briefly consider going to seminary, but I'll have to think about that a lot before committing to it. But when the church started to love on him, the Ukrainians are so good at it. They congratulate you with the most heartfelt words, and even if you can't understand them you know they love you. It was my last Sunday, and Primorsk is where a lot of the camp kids I met go, so it was a little bittersweet to say goodbye to them. Vlada told Matthew and I that they would "miss us very badly". I know I will too.
That evening Vitalik (who went to camp, and goes to Bethel church) invited Matthew and I to go to his birthday party. He was turning 15, and in Ukraine it is traditional for the birthday person to throw their own party (and serve the guests as well). His dad (who happened to be Maxim, which I never knew until that point), picked us up and we went to the beach by Ernie and Anna's house. The beach at night was so calm and quiet, and there were hardly any people there. Vika and Igor, along with Vika's brother, came too (they live close to the sea), and we had a really great time celebrating Vitalik. The others played in the sea for a while (I couldn't because I didn't have my trunks on, it was all rather last minute), and then we ate. The food was amazing, shish kebab chicken with Asian marinade, it was soooo good. I also tried a new soda called Citron which was good, and drank Kvas again, but I still don't like it (I imagine it tastes too much like beer). Vitalik's little sister was there too, and she was adorable. She ran around and chased Matthew and he chased her, and she told Igor to chew with his mouth closed. It was a very fun and peaceful (we could see so many stars, and hear the waves lapping the beach) night that I won't soon forget. I am so glad for Vitalik, and he is a great young man. I know he'll be a lot like Maxim when he grows up (even though Maxim is his stepfather, but he doesn't treat him like that).
Monday Matthew, Igor, Vika, and I all went to the water park here called Akvapark (literally means "water park"). Matthew and I paid for Igor and Vika's tickets (I'm not sure they would have spent the money themselves) because we wanted to thank them for doing so much for us this summer. I am really going to miss these two almost the most out of everyone I've met. They have been there for us, and have constantly been friends with us the whole summer. I especially got close to Igor during camp and since then, and he and Vika are great people who love God with all their hearts. I'm truly going to miss them. Anyway, we had a blast at the water park. The rules are a lot less lax here than in the states, and you could often go down a slide whenever you felt like it (some didn't even have someone watching them). It was a relatively small park compared to the states, but the slides were very fun. There was a big green one that you slid down on a tube and would go backward and forward like a skateboard half-pipe, but you kept going down (I guess sort of like a snowboarding half-pipe). There was another one that was exactly like a half-pipe, and then another one that was like that, but you went up and then down another slide on the way back. The swimming pools were salt water, which was weird because the rest of the park ran on fresh water (they probably got it from the sea to save money). Vika, Igor, and I all had a lot of fun riding three person rafts. When I sat in the back (being far heavier than either Vika or Igor), we went really fast, and when we came out of the slide we would go to the far end of the pool. When I rode the green slide with Matthew we actually touched the top of the other end of the half-pipe before going down, it was a lot of fun. The body slides were fun too, although you had to use a mat to go down them. One was like a funnel, and you would slide into it and go around in circles before dropping down the middle into a pool (no tube, just a mat, it was amazing). Needless to say we all had a great time, and it was so great to get to do something for/spend time with Igor and Vika before we leave.
I think I forgot to talk about Saturday, which was relatively quiet. We were supposed to go to the water park with the team and Igor and Vika, but it rained so Matthew and I went downtown instead. We've had fun hanging out with Bill and Oksana as well, and I'm going to really miss them too. We keep joking that Matthew and I are going to miss cirok (a frozen cottage cheese dessert that is covered in chocolate and has fruit flavors, it's better than it sounds) more than them. That's obviously not true (although I will miss cirok, it's really good), and all the people I'm going to miss almost makes me want to be a missionary here, although I don't think that's the right reason to go somewhere. I've been listening to some sermons from Southland lately about Jonah, and I think I have been running from the Lord. I just don't want to let him rule my life, and that's why I've been so miserable. I've come to a place now where I am simply trusting and praying. I am reading my Bible more, because how can I hear God if I don't know his voice? It's a slow turn-around, but I think that God is helping me pull it off.
This summer has been truly amazing. I have learned so much not only about the Ukrainians (whom I now respect and love as God's children), but about myself. I got to see me for who I really am, and I didn't like the picture without God in it. I still struggle, but I'm not letting that keep me down anymore, it's just not worth it. I'm learning to trust God, and even to love him again. I don't really think I believed he could do all he said, and I am having to thaw out my heart and heal some hurts I don't even think I knew were there. I have to forgive myself, and even more love myself for who I am. That is something I have always struggled with. I have to let God change me, and not hold back. I'm learning to love to listen to good preaching (I can hear my Dad laughing already, he's been telling me to do that for years), and to love the Word. It's been a hard transition, and relatively recent, but if I hadn't come here I don't think it would have happened.
I love the Irish team, and I love Bill and Betsy and Ernie and Anna. Betsy has been like a mother to me here, and I am so grateful for her. I'm learning to love people, and they have helped me to do that. I've been able to see what being a missionary is truly like. It's not what I thought, there are a lot of hardships. Probably the foremost amongst them is working with other missionaries. You all have the same passion for a people group, but vastly different ideas of how to reach them and how to even do the things you agree to do. It's lonely sometimes, especially if you're single, being in another culture. You have to deal with locals being suspicious of you (why would an American come here? It must not be for a good thing), or wanting things from you because you are a "rich" American. I accidentally gave out my address to a boy at camp, and now I'm hoping he won't just show up at my doorstep next year expecting lodging for two weeks (don't worry Mom and Dad, I don't think he will he's a good kid. It's just an example). There are so many other things, and I realize I do like it. I want to be a missionary in some respect, even if it's not forever. I love falling in love with a new people group, and learning to communicate with them (Dima, the cook from camp, said I was born to be a translator). But above all I want to serve God my Father by helping his children. I can see no greater calling in life, and I think we're all called to it (even if it's not in missions). Well, I'll end this post here. I'm going to miss Ukraine, but I am rejoicing that I get to see all of you so soon. I love you all, thanks for your prayers and support.
David
Sunday was a really long day, but a really good day. We started off with a church service in Bethel Church (that's the church here in Berdyansk at the center). Like I've mentioned before, the music usually takes an hour or so to get through, and it is hard for me because I love to sing. I just can't sing in Russian yet, I can't really read fast enough (although I'm getting there) and I can't understand what I'm reading anyway. I really miss singing in church (I can't wait for next Sunday!), so you can imagine that I usually have a hard time on Sundays here. Anyways, they played all of my favorite songs that I've heard here in Ukraine during the service. It's hard to describe Ukrainian worship music, because it's kind of a conglomeration of many different styles of music. Usually they start off with a back beat from a keyboard, and then just add words to it. They can be tranlated worship songs from the states, or new ones written by the Ukrainians themselves. My favorites are the ones that are obviously Ukrainian. Russian/Ukrainian music has a rather sad note to it, and it always has a downbeat or a minor key. But the people are just so exuberant singing them that I love them. Then Garreth (the Irish pastor) preached on being "inclusive" people and not "exclusive". I agreed with a lot of what he said, but it's hard to pay attention when someone has to be translated (I could understand him, but he had to stop so Sergey, who is the pastor of Bethel church, could translate for the congregation). Then Maxim, a very godly man who goes to the church, was initiated as the church's first deacon. He and his wife were so happy, and it was wonderful to see the church love on him, and I know that he'll do a great job at it.
We next went to Primorsk after a quick lunch. We had a similar service here (although without music as they had already done it). The Irish team performed a song, I think called the "Lion of Judah", but it involves a very Irish drum beat and I really liked the song. Garreth preached again (I kinda wavered in my attention this time, half listening to a sermon on my ipod before turning it off because I felt guilty), and it was really hot in that service. The Ukrainians don't like drafts, so they keep windows closed usually, and with around 50 people in a room that was about 20 by 30 feet, it was very hot, especially because it was at least 95 degrees outside. After the service, however, the pastor of the Primorsk church, Arkodi, was ordained as a minister and made the "official" pastor of that church. I got to take a lot of pictures, and it was neat to see the four other pastors (Sergey, Garreth, Bill Brower, and Ernie) initiate a fellow pastor into their midsts. Arkodi was so happy, and his congregation truly love him because he cares so much for them and knows them so well. He's a really great pastor, and ordination will only enhance that (hopefully). It made me briefly consider going to seminary, but I'll have to think about that a lot before committing to it. But when the church started to love on him, the Ukrainians are so good at it. They congratulate you with the most heartfelt words, and even if you can't understand them you know they love you. It was my last Sunday, and Primorsk is where a lot of the camp kids I met go, so it was a little bittersweet to say goodbye to them. Vlada told Matthew and I that they would "miss us very badly". I know I will too.
That evening Vitalik (who went to camp, and goes to Bethel church) invited Matthew and I to go to his birthday party. He was turning 15, and in Ukraine it is traditional for the birthday person to throw their own party (and serve the guests as well). His dad (who happened to be Maxim, which I never knew until that point), picked us up and we went to the beach by Ernie and Anna's house. The beach at night was so calm and quiet, and there were hardly any people there. Vika and Igor, along with Vika's brother, came too (they live close to the sea), and we had a really great time celebrating Vitalik. The others played in the sea for a while (I couldn't because I didn't have my trunks on, it was all rather last minute), and then we ate. The food was amazing, shish kebab chicken with Asian marinade, it was soooo good. I also tried a new soda called Citron which was good, and drank Kvas again, but I still don't like it (I imagine it tastes too much like beer). Vitalik's little sister was there too, and she was adorable. She ran around and chased Matthew and he chased her, and she told Igor to chew with his mouth closed. It was a very fun and peaceful (we could see so many stars, and hear the waves lapping the beach) night that I won't soon forget. I am so glad for Vitalik, and he is a great young man. I know he'll be a lot like Maxim when he grows up (even though Maxim is his stepfather, but he doesn't treat him like that).
Monday Matthew, Igor, Vika, and I all went to the water park here called Akvapark (literally means "water park"). Matthew and I paid for Igor and Vika's tickets (I'm not sure they would have spent the money themselves) because we wanted to thank them for doing so much for us this summer. I am really going to miss these two almost the most out of everyone I've met. They have been there for us, and have constantly been friends with us the whole summer. I especially got close to Igor during camp and since then, and he and Vika are great people who love God with all their hearts. I'm truly going to miss them. Anyway, we had a blast at the water park. The rules are a lot less lax here than in the states, and you could often go down a slide whenever you felt like it (some didn't even have someone watching them). It was a relatively small park compared to the states, but the slides were very fun. There was a big green one that you slid down on a tube and would go backward and forward like a skateboard half-pipe, but you kept going down (I guess sort of like a snowboarding half-pipe). There was another one that was exactly like a half-pipe, and then another one that was like that, but you went up and then down another slide on the way back. The swimming pools were salt water, which was weird because the rest of the park ran on fresh water (they probably got it from the sea to save money). Vika, Igor, and I all had a lot of fun riding three person rafts. When I sat in the back (being far heavier than either Vika or Igor), we went really fast, and when we came out of the slide we would go to the far end of the pool. When I rode the green slide with Matthew we actually touched the top of the other end of the half-pipe before going down, it was a lot of fun. The body slides were fun too, although you had to use a mat to go down them. One was like a funnel, and you would slide into it and go around in circles before dropping down the middle into a pool (no tube, just a mat, it was amazing). Needless to say we all had a great time, and it was so great to get to do something for/spend time with Igor and Vika before we leave.
I think I forgot to talk about Saturday, which was relatively quiet. We were supposed to go to the water park with the team and Igor and Vika, but it rained so Matthew and I went downtown instead. We've had fun hanging out with Bill and Oksana as well, and I'm going to really miss them too. We keep joking that Matthew and I are going to miss cirok (a frozen cottage cheese dessert that is covered in chocolate and has fruit flavors, it's better than it sounds) more than them. That's obviously not true (although I will miss cirok, it's really good), and all the people I'm going to miss almost makes me want to be a missionary here, although I don't think that's the right reason to go somewhere. I've been listening to some sermons from Southland lately about Jonah, and I think I have been running from the Lord. I just don't want to let him rule my life, and that's why I've been so miserable. I've come to a place now where I am simply trusting and praying. I am reading my Bible more, because how can I hear God if I don't know his voice? It's a slow turn-around, but I think that God is helping me pull it off.
This summer has been truly amazing. I have learned so much not only about the Ukrainians (whom I now respect and love as God's children), but about myself. I got to see me for who I really am, and I didn't like the picture without God in it. I still struggle, but I'm not letting that keep me down anymore, it's just not worth it. I'm learning to trust God, and even to love him again. I don't really think I believed he could do all he said, and I am having to thaw out my heart and heal some hurts I don't even think I knew were there. I have to forgive myself, and even more love myself for who I am. That is something I have always struggled with. I have to let God change me, and not hold back. I'm learning to love to listen to good preaching (I can hear my Dad laughing already, he's been telling me to do that for years), and to love the Word. It's been a hard transition, and relatively recent, but if I hadn't come here I don't think it would have happened.
I love the Irish team, and I love Bill and Betsy and Ernie and Anna. Betsy has been like a mother to me here, and I am so grateful for her. I'm learning to love people, and they have helped me to do that. I've been able to see what being a missionary is truly like. It's not what I thought, there are a lot of hardships. Probably the foremost amongst them is working with other missionaries. You all have the same passion for a people group, but vastly different ideas of how to reach them and how to even do the things you agree to do. It's lonely sometimes, especially if you're single, being in another culture. You have to deal with locals being suspicious of you (why would an American come here? It must not be for a good thing), or wanting things from you because you are a "rich" American. I accidentally gave out my address to a boy at camp, and now I'm hoping he won't just show up at my doorstep next year expecting lodging for two weeks (don't worry Mom and Dad, I don't think he will he's a good kid. It's just an example). There are so many other things, and I realize I do like it. I want to be a missionary in some respect, even if it's not forever. I love falling in love with a new people group, and learning to communicate with them (Dima, the cook from camp, said I was born to be a translator). But above all I want to serve God my Father by helping his children. I can see no greater calling in life, and I think we're all called to it (even if it's not in missions). Well, I'll end this post here. I'm going to miss Ukraine, but I am rejoicing that I get to see all of you so soon. I love you all, thanks for your prayers and support.
David
Friday, July 17, 2009
The time has gone so fast...
Well, I now have exactly one week left before I actually leave the country of Ukraine, possibly forever. It's a little sad to me that my time is winding down so quickly, and I know that I am going to miss living here. I've come to love and respect the Ukrainian people a lot. I love the way they don't like to sit on the ground because they think it's too dirty, the big yellow barrels of kvas that look like beer but aren't, that they think a draft will give them a cold, that the grandmothers rule the country with an iron fist, and a lot of other things. The kids here are so open and candid, they will tell you almost anything about their lives because they want to get to know you, much more open than American kids. They like to hear about Jesus, and they find Americans in particular to be very cool/hilarious. Their parents/grandmothers may be suspicious of strangers (with good reason because of the communist regime), but they warm up to you and appreciate what you do for their children/grandchildren.
Well, this week has been extremely wonderful. I've been working with the Irish team a lot, but also working in the student center as well. It's been interesting to go to the Irish team's devotionals in the evenings (when I'm not working at the student center). I realized just how much I really miss singing, and it's helped me to come about in my faith a little bit. I realize just how much I love God and want to serve him, and all this doubt doesn't mean anything. I'd be very arrogant to say that God doesn't exist, and I don't believe that anyway. I'm leaning on him for some proper change in my life. The team is going through the Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren, which I haven't read in years. It's great to hear them talk about their faith, and the first night we all shared why we were here. This also made me realize how selfish I am in my faith. My explanation was mainly about me, whereas others were about service and much more selfless. It made me realize I need to serve God because he is worthy of it, and not because of what I can get out of it, and just look for opportunity and don't turn it down when it stares me in the face.
Wednesday was great. I have been helping the team with their children's club in the afternoons (2-3:30), and this day I was able to speak a lot of Russian. We have a translator (Catya) who is very good while only about 14, she studies in Don's English class (he helps around here but isn't a missionary, at least not through WGM). I was almost translating for an Irish team member named Ivan to a boy named Zhenia. He's a teenager, and causes a little trouble with the team because he's a boy and boys do that when they are teenagers. We talked about football (i.e. soccer), our favorite teams, and some other things. It was really great to get to use the Russian I had learned and just to be helpful, which I haven't felt I have been to the team yet. We then went to a store during the time to get popsicles for all of the kids (which the Irish call ice lollies, which I love), and I had to order 30 of them and find out the price from the owner of the local shop. I had a little trouble, but got the order in and we got out relatively quickly. The two girls I was with were suprised at how quickly we got out, and I realized that I really love to translate and use language as much as possible. Maybe I'll want to do that with my life (I could always work with Wycliffe).
Thursday I went to the orphanage with the team (Matthew and I are switching on and off again so more of them can go). It was different than any time I've gone before, not only because of the team, but because they had a plan as to how it should go. They did the same thing they were going to do in the kid's club that afternoon, and the kids loved playing with them and hearing the story of Adam and Eve, acted out by the Irish. Garreth, the pastor of the team's church, was very funny as the snake, and acted like he would strike the kids which they loved. I am really going to miss these kids, I've grown to really love them. When Matthew or I come over now, several run up to us and hug us or give us handshakes (for the older boys). I've got one more time to go there on Tuesday, and it's going to be sad for me (although I think we're all going to visit on Friday before we leave Berdyansk).
Friday we worked around the center (although I didn't really, having gone to the store and then done nothing; I felt really bad and lazy about this). During the kid's club I had to read the story. I'll admit I was nervous, especially because my story was about the Passover meal where Jesus washed his disciple's feet. I wasn't sure how well it would translate, but it went over well according to the team. I got on my knees and washed one of the team member's feet and talked about how Jesus was being a servant by doing this, and how much more so we should. I liked giving the lesson, although I'm not sure I'd like doing it all the time. I think it went well, but it could have gone better.
And then we come to Dennis. I am growing to really like this boy and his mom. Earlier in the week I had a really great discussion with him about reading the Bible and our favorite stories (his was Daniel in the lion's den I think, sorry). I also talked to him more about his grandmother, who is still sick. I told him I would keep praying, and I think he appreciated it. Matthew, Vika, and I played life with him and his mom on another day, which was a lot of fun. Matthew ended up having five kids, and me three. Dennis's mom (Oksana) has been a lot of help at the kid's club, translating what Catya can't remember (they're in the same English class). Some of the team members prayed for her one day, and she was in tears, she is a very loving and caring woman. I'm praying for them, and hope you do too. The rest of the week went well in the student center too, and by Friday we had over 15 kids in there from the kid's club and other places (Matthew, Vika, and I had put up a lot of fliers a couple of days ago, like over 50). I really think this ministry will do good things for these kids, and it is so much fun to just get to sit down and play and talk with them.
Friday night we went to the promenade with the team. I hadn't been there at night since the first team was here, and it was interesting to see how much I've learned about Ukraine. I knew the histories of all of the statues we saw, I knew how to order a drink and chips in Russian, I knew culturally what and what not to do, and I got to pass that on to the team. I've learned a lot here in Ukraine, and I'm really going to miss it. I've learned I love youth ministry again, love to work cross-culturally, and love to translate. I'm still not sure of where to go, although I'm still leaning towards Hungary (although Ukraine has made a plea in my heart), but I know I want to work with kids and teens and be able to do translating in some fashion. Maybe working here with Bill is what I should do, I don't know. I feel fairly strongly that I need to visit Africa (Kenya in particular) and Asia (Japan in particular) before making any decisions for sure, but who knows if I'll be able to. I am going to search out the Lord on this, and would ask you to pray for me as I am seeking. Just pray that I would listen and obey once I hear. I may not like teaching exactly, but I can do it. I just know that missions is to be a big part of my life, and I hope I'm not too scared to act on it. I'd hate to miss the biggest part of me because I'm too afraid to admit it. Thanks for reading, and I love you all.
David
Well, this week has been extremely wonderful. I've been working with the Irish team a lot, but also working in the student center as well. It's been interesting to go to the Irish team's devotionals in the evenings (when I'm not working at the student center). I realized just how much I really miss singing, and it's helped me to come about in my faith a little bit. I realize just how much I love God and want to serve him, and all this doubt doesn't mean anything. I'd be very arrogant to say that God doesn't exist, and I don't believe that anyway. I'm leaning on him for some proper change in my life. The team is going through the Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren, which I haven't read in years. It's great to hear them talk about their faith, and the first night we all shared why we were here. This also made me realize how selfish I am in my faith. My explanation was mainly about me, whereas others were about service and much more selfless. It made me realize I need to serve God because he is worthy of it, and not because of what I can get out of it, and just look for opportunity and don't turn it down when it stares me in the face.
Wednesday was great. I have been helping the team with their children's club in the afternoons (2-3:30), and this day I was able to speak a lot of Russian. We have a translator (Catya) who is very good while only about 14, she studies in Don's English class (he helps around here but isn't a missionary, at least not through WGM). I was almost translating for an Irish team member named Ivan to a boy named Zhenia. He's a teenager, and causes a little trouble with the team because he's a boy and boys do that when they are teenagers. We talked about football (i.e. soccer), our favorite teams, and some other things. It was really great to get to use the Russian I had learned and just to be helpful, which I haven't felt I have been to the team yet. We then went to a store during the time to get popsicles for all of the kids (which the Irish call ice lollies, which I love), and I had to order 30 of them and find out the price from the owner of the local shop. I had a little trouble, but got the order in and we got out relatively quickly. The two girls I was with were suprised at how quickly we got out, and I realized that I really love to translate and use language as much as possible. Maybe I'll want to do that with my life (I could always work with Wycliffe).
Thursday I went to the orphanage with the team (Matthew and I are switching on and off again so more of them can go). It was different than any time I've gone before, not only because of the team, but because they had a plan as to how it should go. They did the same thing they were going to do in the kid's club that afternoon, and the kids loved playing with them and hearing the story of Adam and Eve, acted out by the Irish. Garreth, the pastor of the team's church, was very funny as the snake, and acted like he would strike the kids which they loved. I am really going to miss these kids, I've grown to really love them. When Matthew or I come over now, several run up to us and hug us or give us handshakes (for the older boys). I've got one more time to go there on Tuesday, and it's going to be sad for me (although I think we're all going to visit on Friday before we leave Berdyansk).
Friday we worked around the center (although I didn't really, having gone to the store and then done nothing; I felt really bad and lazy about this). During the kid's club I had to read the story. I'll admit I was nervous, especially because my story was about the Passover meal where Jesus washed his disciple's feet. I wasn't sure how well it would translate, but it went over well according to the team. I got on my knees and washed one of the team member's feet and talked about how Jesus was being a servant by doing this, and how much more so we should. I liked giving the lesson, although I'm not sure I'd like doing it all the time. I think it went well, but it could have gone better.
And then we come to Dennis. I am growing to really like this boy and his mom. Earlier in the week I had a really great discussion with him about reading the Bible and our favorite stories (his was Daniel in the lion's den I think, sorry). I also talked to him more about his grandmother, who is still sick. I told him I would keep praying, and I think he appreciated it. Matthew, Vika, and I played life with him and his mom on another day, which was a lot of fun. Matthew ended up having five kids, and me three. Dennis's mom (Oksana) has been a lot of help at the kid's club, translating what Catya can't remember (they're in the same English class). Some of the team members prayed for her one day, and she was in tears, she is a very loving and caring woman. I'm praying for them, and hope you do too. The rest of the week went well in the student center too, and by Friday we had over 15 kids in there from the kid's club and other places (Matthew, Vika, and I had put up a lot of fliers a couple of days ago, like over 50). I really think this ministry will do good things for these kids, and it is so much fun to just get to sit down and play and talk with them.
Friday night we went to the promenade with the team. I hadn't been there at night since the first team was here, and it was interesting to see how much I've learned about Ukraine. I knew the histories of all of the statues we saw, I knew how to order a drink and chips in Russian, I knew culturally what and what not to do, and I got to pass that on to the team. I've learned a lot here in Ukraine, and I'm really going to miss it. I've learned I love youth ministry again, love to work cross-culturally, and love to translate. I'm still not sure of where to go, although I'm still leaning towards Hungary (although Ukraine has made a plea in my heart), but I know I want to work with kids and teens and be able to do translating in some fashion. Maybe working here with Bill is what I should do, I don't know. I feel fairly strongly that I need to visit Africa (Kenya in particular) and Asia (Japan in particular) before making any decisions for sure, but who knows if I'll be able to. I am going to search out the Lord on this, and would ask you to pray for me as I am seeking. Just pray that I would listen and obey once I hear. I may not like teaching exactly, but I can do it. I just know that missions is to be a big part of my life, and I hope I'm not too scared to act on it. I'd hate to miss the biggest part of me because I'm too afraid to admit it. Thanks for reading, and I love you all.
David
Monday, July 13, 2009
The Irish are coming...
So today is Monday of my second to last week in Ukraine. It's crazy to think that next Friday I will be getting on the train to go back to Kiev for possibly the last time. I've come to really love Ukraine, although I will admit that it took me a while to get to that point. Ukraine is just a different country than any other that I have been to so far. Russian is a different language, the people are different (but wonderful), and the sights and smells are very unique to Ukraine. But all in all I have loved it so far.
Well, since our trip to Kiev we've been mainly working in the youth center every day. The youth center is open from 3:00-8:30 pm on Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. As I believe I wrote in an earlier blog, we have a lot of games to play, and two ping-pong tables. Each night brings a different number of kids, but we haven't had more than three come on any one day except for Saturday. However, this was because the kids that were at camp and live in Primorsk came to Berdyansk that day to go to the beach and decided to visit the youth center. They played for a little while, and it was a lot of fun to catch up with them since I hadn't seen them in over two weeks. Kristina came again with them, but she decided to stay at the youth center for the day instead of go to the beach. The youth center can be a little boring when there aren't many kids in there, as it's just Matthew, Bill, Vika, and myself sitting around trying to find something to do. Bill's nephew Dima usually comes to visit. We've had a few memorable games with him, including Monopoly and Risk. Dima is 12, so it's fun to see how he thinks as he tries to make decisions in games like that, he's usually very even-handed in how he does everything. However, he has a dark side and if you do something he doesn't like in the game he will get revenge even if it hurts him, it's pretty funny to watch honestly (he's not like that in real life). Dennis comes every day still, and talks to us as we play ping-pong for hours at a time. His English is really very good for a Ukrainian teenager (the best I've heard besides Dima), and he likes to talk to Matthew and I about girls and life. He mentioned to me on Saturday that his grandmother almost died, so if you think about it please pray for her.
The Irish task force came yesterday after the church service here (which was nicer than usual because I listened to a sermon from Southland, and it gave me a little piece of home for the day). They had gone to a service in Tokmok, which is another church that Ernie has a relationship with, and it was his last time preaching there. Ernie and Anna are leaving Ukraine after serving here for over 10 years for retirement. They're actually leaving around four days after I leave, which is very soon, and they are very busy packing and saying goodbye to this country that they love (keep them in your prayers as well). The Irish team is made up of 15 people (much bigger than the American team at the beginning of the summer), made mostly of married couples, although there are four women who are either single or here without their husbands. They're going to do a VBS type of thing as well as do orphanage ministry and possibly work at the youth center a couple of nights a week. I like them so far, and their accents are great to listen to, although I have trouble understanding them occasionally. Four of them are staying in our apartment with the Tarr's, which means Matthew and I have to share our bathroom with four more people now. I'm excited to see what the Irish team will do, as I've heard good things about the Irish teams that have come before. They usually take control of everything they do here, making a program at the orphanage where we usually don't have any. It will be interesting to see how Bill takes that (he's in charge of the orphanage ministry), but he seems to be ok with it. Well, please keep me in your prayers for the things I've mentioned before. I'm also feeling a little homesick, and am excited to come home, so please pray for that as well. I love you all.
David
Well, since our trip to Kiev we've been mainly working in the youth center every day. The youth center is open from 3:00-8:30 pm on Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. As I believe I wrote in an earlier blog, we have a lot of games to play, and two ping-pong tables. Each night brings a different number of kids, but we haven't had more than three come on any one day except for Saturday. However, this was because the kids that were at camp and live in Primorsk came to Berdyansk that day to go to the beach and decided to visit the youth center. They played for a little while, and it was a lot of fun to catch up with them since I hadn't seen them in over two weeks. Kristina came again with them, but she decided to stay at the youth center for the day instead of go to the beach. The youth center can be a little boring when there aren't many kids in there, as it's just Matthew, Bill, Vika, and myself sitting around trying to find something to do. Bill's nephew Dima usually comes to visit. We've had a few memorable games with him, including Monopoly and Risk. Dima is 12, so it's fun to see how he thinks as he tries to make decisions in games like that, he's usually very even-handed in how he does everything. However, he has a dark side and if you do something he doesn't like in the game he will get revenge even if it hurts him, it's pretty funny to watch honestly (he's not like that in real life). Dennis comes every day still, and talks to us as we play ping-pong for hours at a time. His English is really very good for a Ukrainian teenager (the best I've heard besides Dima), and he likes to talk to Matthew and I about girls and life. He mentioned to me on Saturday that his grandmother almost died, so if you think about it please pray for her.
The Irish task force came yesterday after the church service here (which was nicer than usual because I listened to a sermon from Southland, and it gave me a little piece of home for the day). They had gone to a service in Tokmok, which is another church that Ernie has a relationship with, and it was his last time preaching there. Ernie and Anna are leaving Ukraine after serving here for over 10 years for retirement. They're actually leaving around four days after I leave, which is very soon, and they are very busy packing and saying goodbye to this country that they love (keep them in your prayers as well). The Irish team is made up of 15 people (much bigger than the American team at the beginning of the summer), made mostly of married couples, although there are four women who are either single or here without their husbands. They're going to do a VBS type of thing as well as do orphanage ministry and possibly work at the youth center a couple of nights a week. I like them so far, and their accents are great to listen to, although I have trouble understanding them occasionally. Four of them are staying in our apartment with the Tarr's, which means Matthew and I have to share our bathroom with four more people now. I'm excited to see what the Irish team will do, as I've heard good things about the Irish teams that have come before. They usually take control of everything they do here, making a program at the orphanage where we usually don't have any. It will be interesting to see how Bill takes that (he's in charge of the orphanage ministry), but he seems to be ok with it. Well, please keep me in your prayers for the things I've mentioned before. I'm also feeling a little homesick, and am excited to come home, so please pray for that as well. I love you all.
David
Thursday, July 9, 2009
I feel lazy...
I've been slacking a bit on this blog, sorry. But I know that my blogs are usually long enough that it probably takes you about a week to read them anyway, haha. Well, I left off telling you all about the opening of the youth center on Saturday, which went very well. It's open every Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday from 3-8:30 pm. That's a long time to be in the center for me, but it's fun to get to play with the teens. We had about four or five actual teenagers come the first day, most of whom were already well acquainted with the church (two of them having been to camp as well, Kristina and Dima). I played Dutch Blitz with Vika and a friend of hers for almost two hours, and we played several other card games as well. We had one new boy, named Dennis, who came. Matthew and I played ping pong (we have two tables and a lot of board games and cards) for quite a while. He spoke pretty good English, and his mom wanted us to help him practice so I just talked to him as I played. He had just moved the month before from Kiev to Berdyansk, which is quite a move. The two cities are almost nothing alike, and he said that he missed Kiev (as well as his girlfriend). It was great to get to meet him and for him to have a place to get to just hang out and not be bored.
Sunday we did church as usual, and had lunch with everyone in the Tarr's apartment because the Zirkle's were still here. Sunday was a pretty relaxed day, and we didn't do very much else besides that. Monday found all of the missionaries in a field meeting for most of the day, so Matthew and I were sent to Mike who is in charge of the construction here. He had us move around some stuff, and I again weed-whacked for most of the day. I even did some a little outside of the center grounds for the neighboring apartment complex. I think they appreciated it, as they asked us to do it, but several of the Babushka's complained about it.
Tuesday we went to the orphanage again, but again they went to the sea only a half-hour after we got there. Only six were left behind, but we played with them anyway. Two of the girls, Masha and Ruzhia, got to go home which was wonderful, I was so happy for them. Sasha came with us today instead of Bill and Vika, along with Dima from camp. Sasha is so great with the kids, he just brought a picture Bible and told stories to them the whole time, they loved it. After we got back from the orphanage we had to pack because Matthew and I were heading to Kiev with Bill and Oksana (and Dima, Oksana's nephew) to take the Zirkle's back to the airport. Kevin Zirkle, the husband, is the director of the European, Asian, and Oceania fields and was having a field meeting the whole week previously. They were heading to Hungary for a week, and then home before heading back to their home field of Japan. They were really interesting to talk to, and I enjoyed getting to know them (the wife's name is Becky).
We rode the train up to Kiev, which was much more comfortable this time because there was not a 24 hour period of air travel before it this time. During the day we went to three different cathedrals, a monestary, and three museums. The monastery was very interesting, because it was one of the oldest in Ukraine, and possibly in Europe. There were catacombs there, but we didn't have time to see them, but they have several bodies that are still preserved even though they should not be (they said it was the Holy Spirit as a reward for their good lives). We went to the Chornobyl museum, which was interesting to see how that had repercussions in Ukraine (where it happened). I hadn't realized it only happened in 1986, I had thought it was a bit before then. We also went to two war museums, one for the Russian-Afghanistani freedom war from the 70's-80's, and the other for WWII. The WWII museum was intense, and ended in a room that had a huge 50 ft. long table running the span of it with cups set for all those who did not come home. It was very moving, and I found it especially hard to go through the concentration camp room, as I have been to a concentration camp before (they even had a pair of gloves made from human skin, and soap from human fat, which I found horrifying). The top room was all in white and had all the names of those who had passed away in the war. Right outside of the museum was a monument to the war, called the Iron Lady. She is taller than the Statue of Liberty (because of the base), and is a formidable-looking woman holding a sword uplifted in her right hand and a shield in her left. It was very moving, and we could see all of Kiev from the hill she sits on.
We also did a bit of shopping, and I got all of my souvenier things done for everyone that I was buying something for, which is great. Then we headed back home on the train, and just arrived back a couple of hours ago. It takes a while because after the train ride we have a three-hour car drive from the train station in Zapparizhzhia to Berdyansk. We're opening the student center again today (we weren't here to do it on Tuesday, but Igor did), and will do so the rest of the week. The Irish team comes on Sunday, and they'll be here until we leave.
It's so surreal to think that most of my summer is over. It's all gone by so fast. But I'm still keeping my spirit up, even though I'm a bit tired by now. I'm praying that God will bring about a change in me, even with only three weeks left. I've gone on mission trips like this before (although not for as long), and I've come back unchanged. I've hardened my heart and not allowed the Lord to work in me. I don't want that this time. I may not have perfect faith, but I have enough to know that I cannot deny that which can't be proven, it would be very arrogant of me. I believe in God because it is innate in me. It makes no sense, and I've tried to make it logical, but it isn't. I just know it is true. So I'm resting on that, and trying to bring about change in me through that. Please pray for that for me, and for the remaining three weeks I have left here in Ukraine. It will be hard to leave here and all the people I've grown to love, but I'm glad for the experience. Excited to see you all soon, and love you all.
David
Sunday we did church as usual, and had lunch with everyone in the Tarr's apartment because the Zirkle's were still here. Sunday was a pretty relaxed day, and we didn't do very much else besides that. Monday found all of the missionaries in a field meeting for most of the day, so Matthew and I were sent to Mike who is in charge of the construction here. He had us move around some stuff, and I again weed-whacked for most of the day. I even did some a little outside of the center grounds for the neighboring apartment complex. I think they appreciated it, as they asked us to do it, but several of the Babushka's complained about it.
Tuesday we went to the orphanage again, but again they went to the sea only a half-hour after we got there. Only six were left behind, but we played with them anyway. Two of the girls, Masha and Ruzhia, got to go home which was wonderful, I was so happy for them. Sasha came with us today instead of Bill and Vika, along with Dima from camp. Sasha is so great with the kids, he just brought a picture Bible and told stories to them the whole time, they loved it. After we got back from the orphanage we had to pack because Matthew and I were heading to Kiev with Bill and Oksana (and Dima, Oksana's nephew) to take the Zirkle's back to the airport. Kevin Zirkle, the husband, is the director of the European, Asian, and Oceania fields and was having a field meeting the whole week previously. They were heading to Hungary for a week, and then home before heading back to their home field of Japan. They were really interesting to talk to, and I enjoyed getting to know them (the wife's name is Becky).
We rode the train up to Kiev, which was much more comfortable this time because there was not a 24 hour period of air travel before it this time. During the day we went to three different cathedrals, a monestary, and three museums. The monastery was very interesting, because it was one of the oldest in Ukraine, and possibly in Europe. There were catacombs there, but we didn't have time to see them, but they have several bodies that are still preserved even though they should not be (they said it was the Holy Spirit as a reward for their good lives). We went to the Chornobyl museum, which was interesting to see how that had repercussions in Ukraine (where it happened). I hadn't realized it only happened in 1986, I had thought it was a bit before then. We also went to two war museums, one for the Russian-Afghanistani freedom war from the 70's-80's, and the other for WWII. The WWII museum was intense, and ended in a room that had a huge 50 ft. long table running the span of it with cups set for all those who did not come home. It was very moving, and I found it especially hard to go through the concentration camp room, as I have been to a concentration camp before (they even had a pair of gloves made from human skin, and soap from human fat, which I found horrifying). The top room was all in white and had all the names of those who had passed away in the war. Right outside of the museum was a monument to the war, called the Iron Lady. She is taller than the Statue of Liberty (because of the base), and is a formidable-looking woman holding a sword uplifted in her right hand and a shield in her left. It was very moving, and we could see all of Kiev from the hill she sits on.
We also did a bit of shopping, and I got all of my souvenier things done for everyone that I was buying something for, which is great. Then we headed back home on the train, and just arrived back a couple of hours ago. It takes a while because after the train ride we have a three-hour car drive from the train station in Zapparizhzhia to Berdyansk. We're opening the student center again today (we weren't here to do it on Tuesday, but Igor did), and will do so the rest of the week. The Irish team comes on Sunday, and they'll be here until we leave.
It's so surreal to think that most of my summer is over. It's all gone by so fast. But I'm still keeping my spirit up, even though I'm a bit tired by now. I'm praying that God will bring about a change in me, even with only three weeks left. I've gone on mission trips like this before (although not for as long), and I've come back unchanged. I've hardened my heart and not allowed the Lord to work in me. I don't want that this time. I may not have perfect faith, but I have enough to know that I cannot deny that which can't be proven, it would be very arrogant of me. I believe in God because it is innate in me. It makes no sense, and I've tried to make it logical, but it isn't. I just know it is true. So I'm resting on that, and trying to bring about change in me through that. Please pray for that for me, and for the remaining three weeks I have left here in Ukraine. It will be hard to leave here and all the people I've grown to love, but I'm glad for the experience. Excited to see you all soon, and love you all.
David
Friday, July 3, 2009
Catching up...
Well, I suppose I should catch up this blog since it's two weeks out of date. Sorry I haven't been keeping up, but I've been both busy and unwilling to blog. I'm just not much of a journaler. Anyways, the end of the first week of camp was great. We had an awesome time bonding with the students and, got close to several. One, named Max, we decided was not Ukrainian, but French because of all of his quirky mannerisms and the way he said his English word. Instead of saying "ruined" he said "urined", much merriment ensued that one.
The second week of camp was considerably harder. We had a couple of days off after the first week where we rested at the Tarr's, which is where we are staying now. The second week of camp was for kids ages 7-14 round about. We had over 30 kids (major change from the 9 from first week), and the helper number increased by about threefold. That meant a lot more names to memorize (most of the teens came back again because they liked us so much, or were helping as a helper somehow), and a lot more people speaking Russian. I think the main reason the second week was so hard was because I was just starting to get some major culture shock/home sickness. We had a translator, Igor, but he was Ukrainian as well. So with Matthew being the only other American besides me, I got to be a little lonely. I was tired of hearing Russian everyday, and particularly halfway through the week when I sat through an hour long meeting where no one translated anything for me. I was getting frustrated, and sort of angry at the Ukrainians. I didn't blame them, I knew that I was just feeling culture shock (that language barrier can really knock your socks off), but it was still hard. The days seemed to go by rather slowly, and I was ready to leave camp around the second day. I'm not entirely sure what all was bothering me that week, but it just didn't seem able to end fast enough for me. I was tired of not knowing what to do (we never knew what kids we would have for sports, which was three times a day now in extremely hot weather-90 degrees plus), and the language thing just started to get to me. But I prayed for patience and help throughout the week, which helped.
I know that last paragraph sounded rather negative, but it's how I felt. Towards the end of the week, though, I just let go. I was tired, mentally exhausted, and full (they fed us extremely well, and gave us huge portions). The camp was basically the same as the week before, just aimed at little kids instead of teens (love still being the theme, I think, but told through skits and stuff instead of head on lessons, which they did have). The last couple of days of camp, though, I fell in love with it again. The kids had finally warmed up to us (it took them a while), and wanted to play with us constantly. I felt the adults had some degree of respect for us, and they constantly looked out for our health and happiness. The Ukrainians are very considerate, and will do anything to help you if you need it. I think I finally let God use me, and it felt good. I may not have realized I was letting him, but I was resting better, and feeling better. I even learned a little more Russian.
But the one thing I struggled with the most that week was the one thing I had figured out the week before. I was so concerned that the kids didn't like me, or that the kids liked Matthew better (which I'm still not sure on). It was making me really sad, and I think it had an affect on how I viewed the camp and allowed culture shock to set in. But the last day of camp when we said goodbye to the kids and the workers, I just felt an overwhelming amount of love from them. It made it all feel so much more worth it, and I felt extremely loved and prayed over. Anya and Kristina (two of the helpers) were practically in tears (Anya was), and it was very hard to leave. Now that I think about it, it was totally God leading me, and showing his love for me through the kids and helpers.
This week has been a lot less stressful. We rested until Tuesday (going to the Peninsula, which is past the promenade and has more and better beaches). This week I have done a combination of things. We are gearing up for the opening of the youth center tomorrow (the 4th of July, not as important here, haha). I have weed whacked the center's yard (or at least most of it), sorted the center's games (spent an hour going through Dutch Blitz cards), organized the English library for the college (took 4 hours), and went with Bill Brower to buy games. The center looks good, especially with Matthew's new finished mural of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in the fire. It looks amazing, and he's a very talented artist, although he wouldn't say that. So we're pretty much waiting for tomorrow at 3 pm to open for the kids to come. I know it will be great, and it's something for them to do to keep them off of the streets getting drunk.
I love the Ukrainian kids. They are very loving, and as long as you try they appreciate it. The orphanage ministry is so much fun, because we get to love on those kids, and play games with them. Urkainian kids want the same stuff American kids want: safety, love, and acceptance. They may have slightly different customs and things, but all-in-all we're a lot more similar than different. Like teaching baseball at camp, it wasn't too difficult except for the translating of terms. I just pray I learn more from God this summer. I feel like I've been holding out a bit from him, and haven't done all I could have. But I have done a lot. I've just realized that I do have flaws, many of them. Usually I would sit and moan about them, but I've realized that what I need to do is work on those instead of complaining about them (which is one of the main ones I need to work on). Just now I realized that I need to let God do that for me. But that's hard for me. It's hard for me to trust what I can't see, can't feel. I can't trust my emotions, even the Bible says that. But I have this trust that just lingers in the corner of my heart. It may go unattended for a while, but it nags at me and keeps my attention as much as possible. I'm going to have to rely on that small modicum of faith for as long as is necessary. Please pray for me, and pray that God would just ransack my heart. I need a change in a big way, and I can't rely on myself to get me through it, but I know God can. Thank you so much for all your love and support, I appreciate it so much. You can't even know how much it means to me. I love you all, and can't wait to see you again.
David
The second week of camp was considerably harder. We had a couple of days off after the first week where we rested at the Tarr's, which is where we are staying now. The second week of camp was for kids ages 7-14 round about. We had over 30 kids (major change from the 9 from first week), and the helper number increased by about threefold. That meant a lot more names to memorize (most of the teens came back again because they liked us so much, or were helping as a helper somehow), and a lot more people speaking Russian. I think the main reason the second week was so hard was because I was just starting to get some major culture shock/home sickness. We had a translator, Igor, but he was Ukrainian as well. So with Matthew being the only other American besides me, I got to be a little lonely. I was tired of hearing Russian everyday, and particularly halfway through the week when I sat through an hour long meeting where no one translated anything for me. I was getting frustrated, and sort of angry at the Ukrainians. I didn't blame them, I knew that I was just feeling culture shock (that language barrier can really knock your socks off), but it was still hard. The days seemed to go by rather slowly, and I was ready to leave camp around the second day. I'm not entirely sure what all was bothering me that week, but it just didn't seem able to end fast enough for me. I was tired of not knowing what to do (we never knew what kids we would have for sports, which was three times a day now in extremely hot weather-90 degrees plus), and the language thing just started to get to me. But I prayed for patience and help throughout the week, which helped.
I know that last paragraph sounded rather negative, but it's how I felt. Towards the end of the week, though, I just let go. I was tired, mentally exhausted, and full (they fed us extremely well, and gave us huge portions). The camp was basically the same as the week before, just aimed at little kids instead of teens (love still being the theme, I think, but told through skits and stuff instead of head on lessons, which they did have). The last couple of days of camp, though, I fell in love with it again. The kids had finally warmed up to us (it took them a while), and wanted to play with us constantly. I felt the adults had some degree of respect for us, and they constantly looked out for our health and happiness. The Ukrainians are very considerate, and will do anything to help you if you need it. I think I finally let God use me, and it felt good. I may not have realized I was letting him, but I was resting better, and feeling better. I even learned a little more Russian.
But the one thing I struggled with the most that week was the one thing I had figured out the week before. I was so concerned that the kids didn't like me, or that the kids liked Matthew better (which I'm still not sure on). It was making me really sad, and I think it had an affect on how I viewed the camp and allowed culture shock to set in. But the last day of camp when we said goodbye to the kids and the workers, I just felt an overwhelming amount of love from them. It made it all feel so much more worth it, and I felt extremely loved and prayed over. Anya and Kristina (two of the helpers) were practically in tears (Anya was), and it was very hard to leave. Now that I think about it, it was totally God leading me, and showing his love for me through the kids and helpers.
This week has been a lot less stressful. We rested until Tuesday (going to the Peninsula, which is past the promenade and has more and better beaches). This week I have done a combination of things. We are gearing up for the opening of the youth center tomorrow (the 4th of July, not as important here, haha). I have weed whacked the center's yard (or at least most of it), sorted the center's games (spent an hour going through Dutch Blitz cards), organized the English library for the college (took 4 hours), and went with Bill Brower to buy games. The center looks good, especially with Matthew's new finished mural of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in the fire. It looks amazing, and he's a very talented artist, although he wouldn't say that. So we're pretty much waiting for tomorrow at 3 pm to open for the kids to come. I know it will be great, and it's something for them to do to keep them off of the streets getting drunk.
I love the Ukrainian kids. They are very loving, and as long as you try they appreciate it. The orphanage ministry is so much fun, because we get to love on those kids, and play games with them. Urkainian kids want the same stuff American kids want: safety, love, and acceptance. They may have slightly different customs and things, but all-in-all we're a lot more similar than different. Like teaching baseball at camp, it wasn't too difficult except for the translating of terms. I just pray I learn more from God this summer. I feel like I've been holding out a bit from him, and haven't done all I could have. But I have done a lot. I've just realized that I do have flaws, many of them. Usually I would sit and moan about them, but I've realized that what I need to do is work on those instead of complaining about them (which is one of the main ones I need to work on). Just now I realized that I need to let God do that for me. But that's hard for me. It's hard for me to trust what I can't see, can't feel. I can't trust my emotions, even the Bible says that. But I have this trust that just lingers in the corner of my heart. It may go unattended for a while, but it nags at me and keeps my attention as much as possible. I'm going to have to rely on that small modicum of faith for as long as is necessary. Please pray for me, and pray that God would just ransack my heart. I need a change in a big way, and I can't rely on myself to get me through it, but I know God can. Thank you so much for all your love and support, I appreciate it so much. You can't even know how much it means to me. I love you all, and can't wait to see you again.
David
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Camp...week 1
So...my life is tough. I get to go camping for two weeks and "rough" it. Why am I such a wimp? I don't know, but camping is definitely not my lifestyle. Although the country around here is beautiful. I praise God for it, because it is so different from Kentucky. It's mainly flat with little grassy knolls dimpling the countryside. We're right next to a river (which one I'm not sure). The wildflowers are amazing, so many bright colors. So vibrant and screaming with life. Red, blue, violet, yellow; there's even a cactus-like plant.
This life is so simple it almost makes me want to live here...almost. Live in a tent (which I could get used to), eat what you make, swim, work, and praise God. The Urkrainians here are so vocal and alive. They yell their praises to God, and dance so vibrantly. I want to join in, but I don't know the steps, and I'm afraind of looking foolish. Yup, sounds like me. I want to have faith like these people. They just praise God with their lives, it's who they are. I feel we're missing that in the States; Sergei says it's because we don't have hardships, I don't know.
The first day we just arrived here, at lunch and dinner (and we went swimming). Matthew and I just tossed the frisbee with the kids. It was fun even if they don't know how to throw. There are only 4 kids (all boys) for teen camp that aren't connected to being a helper somehow. Kides camp should have more. It's nice, though, because we get to know them better (Maxima, Ilian, Dima, and Vitalik). There are more workers than kids, but it's fun. The cook here, Dima, says I'll speak Russian by the time I leave, and he'll speak English. I'm not too sure about that, but being the odd man out linguistically does make you communicate better and learn faster. I've already learned quite a bit, although not enough to get by.
Tuesday we did a lot of the same. We woke up ast 6 am (the workers) and have quiet time, 7 the kids wake up, 8 is kalesthenics (uuugh), 0 is breakfast, 10 is swimming, 11 a work job, 12 a lesson, 1 is free I think, 2 lunch, 3 swim, 4-6 games (which we lead), 6 dinner, later we have worship time. On Tuesday we had a bonfire where we sang. Matthew and I got to sing in English, which was great (there are so few chances here). I am so thankful that Igor and Vika are here. They translate for us and withough them it would be a nightmare, even if I'm learning (but mostly signing). It was great to get to see how the Ukrainians worship, which like I said is a lot more vibrant than in the US.
This week I"ve been in another mood. At 7 am todeay I went to worker worship and since I couldn't sing I thought. I am so worried about what others think of me, to the point where I'll actually change myself. I've been living in hate: of others, but mostly of myself. I'll think horrible thoughts that I don't want or would never think of just to show how hateful I am. But today I had a burst of light in a dark time where I struggle to even believe in God. I was looking at the sky when I thought "Who cares if they like me?" Now I know this is an American phrase of defiance, but I meant it. I saw the sky and kenw there was a God who created it, and he must love me to have made it so perfectly. He is LOVE. EVen if I lived to seek only pleasure, I wouldn't be fulfilled, but I am in his love. And it is enough tto be loved by the creator of all and not others. I've been annoying to be liked, but I want to love and if they like me it's a plus.l I've sought heaven in fear of hell, but not because I want to love Love. Heaven and hell are irrelevant, love is the relevance. Without it life is meaningless, and there is no heaven or hell. God is relationship within himself, I learned from "The Shack", and he wants me to join in relationship with him. This is mindblowing to me, and has greatly helped my walk that he is Love, and loves me. I guess that's enough, and I'm holding to it.
This life is so simple it almost makes me want to live here...almost. Live in a tent (which I could get used to), eat what you make, swim, work, and praise God. The Urkrainians here are so vocal and alive. They yell their praises to God, and dance so vibrantly. I want to join in, but I don't know the steps, and I'm afraind of looking foolish. Yup, sounds like me. I want to have faith like these people. They just praise God with their lives, it's who they are. I feel we're missing that in the States; Sergei says it's because we don't have hardships, I don't know.
The first day we just arrived here, at lunch and dinner (and we went swimming). Matthew and I just tossed the frisbee with the kids. It was fun even if they don't know how to throw. There are only 4 kids (all boys) for teen camp that aren't connected to being a helper somehow. Kides camp should have more. It's nice, though, because we get to know them better (Maxima, Ilian, Dima, and Vitalik). There are more workers than kids, but it's fun. The cook here, Dima, says I'll speak Russian by the time I leave, and he'll speak English. I'm not too sure about that, but being the odd man out linguistically does make you communicate better and learn faster. I've already learned quite a bit, although not enough to get by.
Tuesday we did a lot of the same. We woke up ast 6 am (the workers) and have quiet time, 7 the kids wake up, 8 is kalesthenics (uuugh), 0 is breakfast, 10 is swimming, 11 a work job, 12 a lesson, 1 is free I think, 2 lunch, 3 swim, 4-6 games (which we lead), 6 dinner, later we have worship time. On Tuesday we had a bonfire where we sang. Matthew and I got to sing in English, which was great (there are so few chances here). I am so thankful that Igor and Vika are here. They translate for us and withough them it would be a nightmare, even if I'm learning (but mostly signing). It was great to get to see how the Ukrainians worship, which like I said is a lot more vibrant than in the US.
This week I"ve been in another mood. At 7 am todeay I went to worker worship and since I couldn't sing I thought. I am so worried about what others think of me, to the point where I'll actually change myself. I've been living in hate: of others, but mostly of myself. I'll think horrible thoughts that I don't want or would never think of just to show how hateful I am. But today I had a burst of light in a dark time where I struggle to even believe in God. I was looking at the sky when I thought "Who cares if they like me?" Now I know this is an American phrase of defiance, but I meant it. I saw the sky and kenw there was a God who created it, and he must love me to have made it so perfectly. He is LOVE. EVen if I lived to seek only pleasure, I wouldn't be fulfilled, but I am in his love. And it is enough tto be loved by the creator of all and not others. I've been annoying to be liked, but I want to love and if they like me it's a plus.l I've sought heaven in fear of hell, but not because I want to love Love. Heaven and hell are irrelevant, love is the relevance. Without it life is meaningless, and there is no heaven or hell. God is relationship within himself, I learned from "The Shack", and he wants me to join in relationship with him. This is mindblowing to me, and has greatly helped my walk that he is Love, and loves me. I guess that's enough, and I'm holding to it.
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